A news photographer needed a plane to take aerial shots
He was told by his boss that a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut and shouted: “Let’s go!”
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot: “Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I’m a photographer for cable news,” he responded. “And I need to get some close up shots.”
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered: “So, what you’re telling me, is … you’re not my flight instructor?!”
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A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says,
“Look at me. I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”
The new man asked, “What happened?”
“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”